so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize