grandma shit on top of the toilet
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
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My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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