The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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