Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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