I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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