Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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