did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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