Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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