His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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