Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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