and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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