when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
