Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
