HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
