yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
