if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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