I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
