I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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