I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
