I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
