Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
