The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
