I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
