did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
