Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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