You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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