I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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