I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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