dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
