She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
