At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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