He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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