By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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