I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
