I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hippo gnu deer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
