i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
