The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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