i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
