Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
