physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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