Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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