So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
