You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize