I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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