So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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