Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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