Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
