Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize