Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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