Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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