dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
