Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
