very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
