Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
