I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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