I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize