Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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