Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
